“What?! Cancer? Are you sure doc? Because I feel great. I don’t feel cancerous.”
It’s true. I feel great. I feel strong and I have good energy. I don’t feel any pain. Or at least I didn’t feel any pain until I had the biopsies. Ever since then it’s as if my boobs got the news that they are supposed to be sick and they have started to hurt a bit. But I think that is more due to the biopsies than to cancer. Other than that, I am working, exercising, and carrying on with my normal life. I mean as normal as it can be when you suddenly discover that you have a life threatening illness. My point, friends, is that cancer doesn’t feel any different than normal. At least not in the beginning. So please get your regular check ups and see your doctor if you feel anything at all out of the ordinary. Ladies, Pleeeeeease get your mammograms as suggested by your doctor. Don’t let fear of the unknown deter you from such a simple procedure that could save your life.
It would be very easy to get depressed and feel bad because it is all very overwhelming. But notice the title of this blog. I chose that title very deliberately – Living Through Cancer – because I absolutely intend to get through this, and I fully intend to keep living. Or, more appropriately, I intend to keep fully living. My body may have cancer but my spirit is cancer free and I refuse to be sick. I know that as I progress through treatments I will need to listen to my body and slow down when needed. That will be difficult for me because I still have to run a business and care for my patients. But I am blessed to have wonderful friends and family who will kick my butt if I don’t rest. I know that there will be difficult days. But I am a glass half full kind of girl and I always look for the good. And there is always something good. I also know that I am not going through this alone. My husband and family are going through it with me and there will be days when it gets to be too much for them. That is the thought that always brings me to tears. I feel like I can take the cancer but I cannot stand to see my husband and family suffer. All I can do in those days is remember that God has a plan for us. He uses these times to grow and refine us. He wants us to draw nearer to Him and He is always working in our favor. We must have faith and again, look for the good. Especially when we can’t see His big picture.
Here’s an example of good things that are already coming from this.
The other day I was talking to my brother on the phone and he said “I love you.” Out loud. Without even the tiniest mumble. The last time I heard my brother say that was when we were in college and there maaaaay have probably been alcohol involved. I know my brother loves me and I love him too. But we don’t say it much. So that was awesome. I love you too, Joel.